Why cant i write...?

Ok now bored in socials... oh and i havent exactly written any more max ride or ghost... but i did go over and edit them both a teency bit... gah i hate killing max, u know that, dont u?? i mean... u guys want her to kinda... fall apart... and i got it through my head that that would take a while, and i kinda want to finish this...so i went and got her stabbed... rather suddenly... honestly, do u know how much it hurts to have to do that? hurting fang is like 'oh no biggie, poor fang... but he'll get over it..." but now i keep running into this wall that is max dying... i dont like thinking about it... i dont really like writing about it... which is why, when i write, its becoming shorter and more sudden... and yeah... oh... i dont really know why i had max stabbed... where i did... i was gonna have her get stabbed in the side, but fang had already been wounded there... and getting stabbed in the back was gonna be reserved for the evil dude, though i kinda wanted max to kill him, max had to die too. oh and i made a good excuse for the dude being so evil: max saved the world from the closest thing to the devil, aside (maybe) from the school and it's cronies... anyway, yes i know... it was way too sudden... and i keep wanting to go back and take the little bit where she gets hurt out... but if i do that, then i have to go through her suffering for a few dozen chapters... ok im done my pained rambling for now... and im still planning on going throgh and finishing twisted hearts...eventually. but for now... i duno.. im just really not in the writing mood. especially as the next scene is iggy and fang dressing her wound. and yes, explain later why fang is refusing to leave. the girl he loves is dying, do u really think he;s gonna leave the room just so he doesnt embarass her by seeing a teeny bit of clevage?... again... im not sure why i had her stabbed there. course, half the shows/books/movies out there (ie; mulan) have the girls stabbed there... stupid authors maybe, anyway, i gtg...